God@Work

As a child, my family and I did not attend church. As a teenager, I had developed an eating disorder, and that paired with the Medford flood was enough to force my parents to cling to something greater than themselves. They began attending FAC and accepted Jesus as their Savior shortly after that. For me, it took me some time to really believe.

My eating disorder had a hold on my life. As with any addiction, I was in bondage. I lost control of my life, my feelings, my emotions, my clarity, and my self-worth. My adolescence was stolen from me. My dignity was stolen from me. My confidence was stolen from me. My reason for living was stolen from me. I lost everything: my friends, my happiness, myself.

Having been through years of more therapists, nutritionists, doctors, blood draws, outpatient rehab ― you name it ― I knew I was destroying myself.

Seven years ago, after years of anorexia, bulimia, cutting, promiscuity, and zero self worth, I decided I needed to make one last, true effort to “get better.” This was prompted by my mom when I asked her what she wanted for Mother’s Day. She replied, “For you to get better, Alyssa.”

I recalled telling my first counselor that I felt like there was a hole inside me that I just could not fill. I always felt empty. Having been through years of more therapists, nutritionists, doctors, blood draws, outpatient rehab ― you name it ― I knew I was destroying myself.

I had watched my parents’ marriage become transformed after they accepted Christ. I had seen their hope and trust in Jesus and that is what led me to give my life to Him. Late one night, I played the song “Held,” by Natalie Grant; got down on my knees; and sobbed, begging Jesus to help me make sense of the mess I had made.

I would not be honest if I said that from that moment on, I was healed. No, the road to recovery was so long ― and probably never ending. The difference was that now Jesus was with me, giving me His power to help me make the right decisions. Without Him in my life, I would probably not be here today.

Today, there are times when I look in the mirror and actually like what I see. That is a miracle. The struggles, as with any addiction, are very real and can pop up at any time. The difference is Jesus. I rely on His power and His joy, and I keep going.
I am eternally grateful for Jesus’ sacrifice for us and for His constant reminder that we are enough for Him.

I am so thankful, too, to be married to Justin. Meeting him had a huge impact on my recovery. Before him, I made poor choices in men and suffered the consequences of all the cheating, lies, and heartbreak. Justin showed me a love I didn’t know existed. As we grew together in Christ, his prayers for me and his ability to remind me of my worth is what kept (and keeps!) me grounded. We have grown so much as a couple, as individuals, and as children of God. He is the best husband and father I could ever ask for.

Justin and I live in Cherry Hill with our 13-month-old daughter, Addison. We are so blessed to have been able to have Addison as I was unsure my body would allow me that privilege after what I had put it through. She is a true testament to God’s love and grace. I pledge to forever instill in my sweet girl that she is enough, always. She is loved unequivocally by the King of kings and that she can do great things.

Tonight calls for ice cream. And not a single ounce of self-doubt! ·

Editor’s Note: If you have a loved one who has an eating disorder, FAC’s Support and Care gWroup, WINGS, meets on the first and third Wednesdays of every month, 7:00 to 8:30 p.m., in the Fellowship House. No registration; no fee.

Alyssa speaks about #Momlife
Justin and I are in a miniChurch and have attended other ministries at FAC. As a part of my story, I would like to recommend #Momlife to moms. #Momlife had a profound impact on me.

Through #Momlife, I realized that no mom has it all together! Learning that from the other participants was so refreshing. I had felt like such a failure as a mom ― postpartum depression, anxiety, and just feeling like I couldn’t keep up.
I thought all the other moms were at home doing Pinterest crafts and baking vegan muffins for their smiling babies that slept through the night! False!

#Momlife introduced me to real moms who were so welcoming and made me feel like I was actually doing pretty well at the whole mom gig. We shared our true thoughts, and the moms consistently pointed me to Christ.

Then there is the #Momlife leader, Michele Fleckenstein! That woman is gold ― the perfect balance of a Christ-like heart and wicked sarcasm that makes us all crack up laughing even on the toughest of mornings!

Registration is now open for #Momlife. Go to www.myfac.org/events. Select “Women.”