God@Work

I grew up going to church, but we went because it was what “good people” do. Our church had one Bible, and it was read out loud after we communally said prayers and creeds. The Bible, to me, was distant and difficult to understand. I was told I was forgiven because I said the prayer everyone else did, but I never felt forgiven.

My family stopped going to church when my uncle died during the AIDS epidemic of the 80’s. Because of that, I assumed God was a judgmental, condemning, and angry God. Church was just a lot of rules to stop you from having fun. As soon as I wasn’t told I had to go, I stopped going.

I was raised to believe that “you get out what you put in” and “pull yourself up from your bootstraps.” I believed I was the maker of my own destiny. When things got rough, however, I still prayed what people might call foxhole prayers: “Please fix this; please get me out of that.” When I knew I had done wrong, I whispered, “Please forgive me.” The truth was, though, that I had turned my back on God.

For a long time my sin didn’t have any real consequences, or if it did, I would run away from it ― from a job, a friendship, or difficult situation. As I got older, it all started to weigh on my conscience. I got married, had children, and got divorced within seven years. I was beginning a slow slide into a very dark place. That was the worst part. The road down was slow and gradual, but when I hit the bottom, I looked up and had no hope.

Amy and her husband

I had gotten remarried in that time and had two stepchildren whose mother and grandmother had raised them to know the Lord. I would watch my stepson talk to Jesus as if He was right next to him. He’d ask Him what he should have to eat, thank Him and me before and after every meal, and knew Bible verses by heart. It was both baffling and intriguing to me.
The situation between my husband, his ex-wife, the kids, and me was difficult and contemptuous at best. According to everything I had ever known and experienced, she and her mother should hate me. So when they invited me into their home one day, something in my heart began to crack. How do you fight someone who wants to hug you?

“I would watch my stepson talk to Jesus as if He was right next to him…It was both baffling and intriguing to me.”

Things in my life were on a full downward spiral when a friend of my family invited me to FAC one Saturday night. I don’t know why, but I said yes. Me in church on a Saturday night, what?! I sat in the chair next to the door at the very last row in case anyone turned around and said, “You don’t belong here!” But no one did. I continued to go.

The first service I clearly remember was a sermon Pastor Marty gave entitled, “How the Lost are Found.” I remember wanting to jump up and yell, “You found me. I am here.” My heart finally broke.

After the service, the prayer team was up front, and I got in line to pray. In my head, I had my usual “Christmas List” of things I wanted God to do for me, but as I neared the front of the line, I realized my stepson’s grandmother was going to be my prayer partner! And I couldn’t run! There were people everywhere. I walked up, truly not under my own power, and asked that we pray for healing, for me to know God, and for our children. She told me she had been praying for me. I was shocked! I would have understood if she had been praying for me to be hit by a bus or struck with lighting, but she was praying for me for my salvation. I had never met anyone like her.

She followed up with a call a week or so later and asked how I was. Now, no one in my life really called me to see how I was. They might call to see how I was making out paying back the money I owed them or where we were going drinking that night, but no one wanted to know how I truly was.

My life began to unravel. All the things I had thought were so important began to fall away, but I had a peace that I couldn’t understand. I prayed daily to do God’s will and help others. I was also reading the Bible, a Bible I could now understand. I found KLOVE on the radio with music that made me smile all day. I went to the women’s conference and got baptized. Deby DiPascale did the dunking! She then talked me into joining a long-term discipleship class. This class changed everything for me. It taught me the Bible. It taught me how to talk to others about my faith and salvation and how to read and relate it not just to my life, but to my heart.

I was once a totally selfish and self-centered person. If there wasn’t anything in it for me, there was no reason for me to put my time into it. I realized that God had never turned His back on me; I had run away from Him. I used to identify myself by the labels I knew the world gave me, but now I know I am a child of the One True King. Yes, me, the bottom of the barrel, I am royalty!

Women’s Redemption

We are pleased to announce that Amy Croll will be leading the FAC Women’s Redemption Group.
This group is for women who are seeking help with sobriety and who want to trust God to lead them.
The first meeting under Amy’s leadership will be held on Tues., May 7, 2019 at 7:00 p.m., in Room C-12. Strict confidentiality is maintained.
If you have questions, send an e-mail to [recoverywomen@myfac.org] , or leave a message at 609-953-7333, x312.